Small problems become big problems when they're ignored. Regular check-ins keep you connected, aligned, and aware of each other's needs before resentment builds.
Last updated: January 2026
Adults (18+) only. Practical questions for real relationships.
Most relationship problems don't start as big issues. They start as small things that get ignored, dismissed, or pushed aside because "it's not a big deal."
Then one day, one partner explodes about something "small," and the other is blindsided. "Where is this coming from?"
Regular check-ins prevent this. They create a routine space to surface what's brewing before it becomes a crisis. Think of it as relationship maintenance, not relationship repair.
Couples who check in regularly report higher satisfaction, better communication, and fewer "surprise" conflicts.
Pro tip: You don't have to solve everything in one check-in. Sometimes just being heard is enough. Say: "I don't need you to fix this, I just needed to share it."
Time: 5 minutes
When: Dinner, bedtime, or morning coffee
Quick emotional pulse checks. Not deep conversations, just staying aware of each other's day-to-day experience.
"How was your day?" is fine. "What was your high and low today?" is better.
Time: 15-30 minutes
When: Sunday evening or weekend morning
Dedicated time to discuss the relationship itself. How are you both doing? What's coming up? Any concerns?
This is the most important check-in. If you only do one, make it weekly.
Time: 30-60 minutes
When: First of the month or quarterly
Bigger picture conversations: goals, dreams, finances, intimacy, where the relationship is heading.
Some couples make this a "state of the union" over dinner out.
Quick questions to stay connected every day:
Emotional connection:
Needs and appreciation:
Concerns and improvements:
Looking ahead:
Relationship health:
Intimacy and physical connection:
Goals and dreams:
Practical matters:
Individual well-being:
Use these after you've had a conflict and things have cooled down:
Timing matters: Wait until you're both calm. Processing too soon can reignite the conflict.
Always include appreciation in your check-ins:
Couples Flirt includes regular check-in questions delivered right to your app, so you never run out of things to talk about.
Adults (18+) only. Private by design.
Relationship check-in questions are prompts couples use during regular conversations to assess how their relationship is going. They cover topics like emotional needs, appreciation, concerns, goals, and intimacy. Regular check-ins (daily, weekly, or monthly) help couples stay connected and address small issues before they become big problems.
Most relationship experts recommend: daily micro check-ins (5 minutes, sharing highs/lows), weekly check-ins (15-30 minutes, covering the relationship itself), and monthly or quarterly deeper conversations (30-60 minutes, discussing goals, dreams, and bigger topics). Find a rhythm that works for both of you.
Key topics for relationship check-ins include: how you're both feeling emotionally, what you need from each other, appreciation and gratitude, any concerns or frustrations, intimacy and physical connection, upcoming stressors or schedule conflicts, individual and shared goals, and what's working well in the relationship.
Start with low-stakes questions to warm up: "What was the best part of your week?" or "How are you feeling right now, on a scale of 1-10?" Then move to relationship-specific questions. Always start with positives before addressing concerns. Keep the tone curious, not critical.
Start small and low-pressure. Instead of formal "check-ins," try asking one question during dinner or before bed. Frame it as connection, not evaluation. If they resist structured conversations, weave check-in questions naturally into everyday moments. Some people respond better to casual approaches than scheduled meetings.
Check-ins are proactive and routine - they happen whether things are good or bad. Difficult conversations are reactive - they address specific problems. Regular check-ins often prevent the need for difficult conversations by catching small issues early. Keep check-ins balanced (positive and constructive), not just problem-focused.
We're building Couples Flirt to help committed partners stay connected, with check-ins, prompts, and conversation starters built in.
Adults (18+) only. Private by design.