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Guide: staying close across the miles

Long Distance Relationship Tips
(That Actually Keep You Close)

TL;DR: Long Distance Relationship Tips

  • Communicate daily: Quality over quantity
  • Schedule video dates: Regular face-to-face time matters
  • Create shared experiences: Watch movies together, play games, cook the same meal
  • Maintain your own life: Keep friendships and hobbies
  • Be transparent: Share feelings and concerns openly
  • Have a plan: Know how you'll eventually close the gap
  • Non-negotiables: Trust and patience

Long distance is hard. There's no sugarcoating it. But millions of couples make it work, and many come out stronger on the other side. The key isn't luck or having the "right" relationship. It's being intentional about how you stay connected.

This guide covers practical strategies that actually help: communication rhythms that work, ways to build intimacy from afar, how to handle the hard parts, and what successful long distance couples do differently. Whether you're newly long distance or years into it, there's something here for you.

Why Long Distance Is Uniquely Challenging

Long distance relationships face challenges that in-person couples simply don't. Understanding these challenges is the first step to overcoming them.

Physical absence. You can't hold hands, share a meal, or fall asleep together. Touch is a fundamental human need, and LDRs require finding other ways to feel close.

Missing the everyday. You're not there for the small moments: the funny thing that happened at work, the frustrating commute, the random Tuesday dinner. You have to actively share what would naturally be shared in person.

Time zone differences. If you're in different time zones, finding overlapping awake hours takes effort. One person is often tired while the other is just starting their day.

Trust under pressure. Without the reassurance of daily presence, insecurities can grow. You can't see who they're with or what they're doing. Trust has to be stronger because it's tested more.

Living parallel lives. You each have your own routine, friends, and daily reality. Without effort, it's easy to drift into feeling like you're living separate lives that occasionally intersect.

Communication That Actually Works

Most important

Communication is the lifeline of any LDR. But more communication isn't always better. Here's what actually works.

Daily check-ins

A quick "good morning" and "goodnight" creates continuity. You don't need hours of conversation every day. What matters is consistency: knowing you'll hear from each other, even if it's brief.

Try this: Send a voice note instead of a text. Hearing their voice makes it feel more personal than typed words.

Scheduled video calls

Put it on the calendar. Video calls need to be protected time, not "whenever we both happen to be free." Aim for 2-4 times per week, depending on your schedules and time zones.

Pro tip: Have something to do together during calls (cook the same meal, watch a show, play a game). It takes pressure off constant conversation.

Quality over quantity

Forced conversations where neither person has much to say can actually hurt your connection. It's okay to have a short call, or to skip texting for a few hours while you're both busy. What matters is that when you do connect, you're actually present.

Warning sign: If communication starts to feel like an obligation or a chore, that's worth addressing. Resentment builds when one person feels pressured to be available 24/7.

Building Intimacy Across the Miles

Intimacy isn't just physical. Emotional intimacy, the feeling of being truly known and close to someone, can be maintained and even deepened from a distance.

Emotional intimacy builders

  1. Share the mundane. Send photos of your lunch, your workspace, the weird thing you saw on your walk. These small glimpses into each other's daily life create closeness.
  2. Go deeper than "how was your day?" Ask real questions: What's been on your mind lately? What are you looking forward to? What's something you've been meaning to tell me?
  3. Be vulnerable. Share your fears, your hopes, your doubts. Distance can actually make it easier to be honest, if you let it.
  4. Celebrate and support remotely. Send flowers for their big presentation. Stay on the phone while they're nervous about something. Be present for their life, even from far away.

Care packages

Physical mail creates tangible connection. Send their favorite snacks, a handwritten letter, something that reminds you of them, or something of yours (like a t-shirt that smells like you). It doesn't need to be expensive to be meaningful.

Shared activities

Watch the same show "together" (start at the same time while on call). Play online games. Read the same book and discuss it. Cook the same recipe simultaneously. Shared experiences create shared memories, even apart.

Physical intimacy from afar

Let's be real: this is a challenge. You can't replace physical touch, but you can maintain that part of your relationship.

  • Talk about physical intimacy openly. What do you miss? What are you looking forward to?
  • Flirty texts and messages keep that energy alive. Don't let distance make your communication purely practical.
  • Video dates can include more than just conversation, if you're both comfortable with that.
  • Plan what you'll do when you're together. Anticipation is its own form of connection.

Adults only (18+). Always consensual. Keep it private and secure.

Managing the Hard Parts

Every LDR has rough patches. Here's how to handle the common ones.

Loneliness

Missing your partner is normal and healthy. But loneliness shouldn't consume your life.

  • Maintain your own life. Keep your friendships, hobbies, and routines. Your happiness can't depend entirely on your partner.
  • Name the feeling. "I miss you and I'm feeling lonely tonight" is better than letting it fester or lashing out.
  • Have something to look forward to. Countdown to your next visit. Plan something exciting for when you're together.

Jealousy and insecurity

Some jealousy is normal. What matters is how you handle it.

  • Talk about it. "I felt a little weird when you mentioned going to that party" is better than silent resentment or accusations.
  • Share more, not less. Secrecy breeds suspicion. Be open about who you spend time with and what you're doing.
  • Check your own insecurities. Sometimes jealousy is about our own fears, not our partner's behavior.
  • Agree on boundaries together. What feels okay? What doesn't? Have this conversation before situations arise.

Arguments across the distance

Fighting over text or phone is harder than in person. You can't read body language. Tone gets misinterpreted. Here's how to handle conflict:

  • Move to video. If a text conversation is escalating, switch to video call. Seeing each other's faces changes everything.
  • Don't let time zones delay resolution. Going to bed angry is worse when you're in different time zones. Try to reach at least a temporary peace before one of you sleeps.
  • Assume good intent. That text probably didn't mean what you think it meant. Ask before reacting.
  • Save some topics for in person. Really big issues might be worth tabling until your next visit when you can discuss face to face.

Making It Work Long-Term

Short-term long distance is one thing. But if you're in it for the long haul, you need a sustainable approach.

Have a plan for closing the distance

The most successful LDRs have an end date, or at least a clear path toward being together. "Someday" isn't a plan. Talk about:

  • When will you realistically be able to live in the same place?
  • Who will move? Are you both willing to move somewhere new together?
  • What milestones need to happen first (job changes, school, visa, etc.)?
  • How often can you visit each other in the meantime?

It's okay if the plan changes. What matters is that you're both working toward the same goal.

Make visits count

Visits are precious. Plan them in advance. Balance doing activities with simply being together. Don't overschedule. Leave room for the mundane stuff you miss, like grocery shopping together or just being in the same room.

Share the effort equally

If one person is always traveling, always initiating calls, or always making sacrifices, resentment builds. Keep it balanced. Track who visited last. Alternate who adjusts to time zones for calls.

Grow individually, grow together

Use the time apart to become the best version of yourself. Pursue your career, your interests, your friendships. A healthy LDR means two people building full lives that they're excited to eventually merge, not two people waiting for their "real life" to start.

Share your growth with each other. Celebrate each other's wins. Stay involved in each other's development, even from afar.

When Long Distance Isn't Working

Not every LDR should continue. Watch for these warning signs:

  • Communication feels like a chore, not a comfort
  • You're growing apart instead of together
  • There's no realistic plan for being together
  • Trust has broken down and can't be rebuilt
  • One person is always making sacrifices
  • You're staying together out of obligation, not desire
  • The relationship is making you miserable more than happy

It's okay to recognize when something isn't working. Ending an LDR that isn't making you both happy isn't failure. It's honesty.

Quick Reference: LDR Survival Tips

  1. Communicate daily, but don't force it. Quality matters more than quantity.
  2. Schedule video calls. Protect that time like any other important commitment.
  3. Share the small stuff. Photos, voice notes, random thoughts. Stay in each other's daily life.
  4. Have a closing-the-distance plan. Know what you're working toward.
  5. Maintain your own life. Friends, hobbies, career. Don't pause your life.
  6. Be transparent. Openness prevents insecurity and builds trust.
  7. Handle conflicts quickly. Don't let time zones drag out arguments.
  8. Plan visits in advance. Have the next one on the calendar.
  9. Stay playful and flirty. Don't let distance make everything serious.
  10. Be patient with each other and yourselves. LDRs are hard. You're both doing your best.

Want help staying connected?

Couples Flirt includes conversation starters, flirty prompts, and connection tools designed to work whether you're in the same room or across the world.

Adults (18+) only. Private by design.

FAQ

How do you keep a long distance relationship strong?

Keep a long distance relationship strong through consistent communication (daily check-ins, weekly video dates), shared activities (watching shows together, playing games), trust-building practices, and having a clear plan for eventually closing the distance. Physical visits, even if rare, help maintain physical connection.

How often should long distance couples talk?

Most successful long distance couples communicate daily through text and have video calls 2-4 times per week. The key is quality over quantity: brief but meaningful daily check-ins work better than forced hours-long calls. Find a rhythm that works for both of your schedules and energy levels.

What kills long distance relationships?

Common relationship killers include: lack of communication (or too much pressure to communicate), growing jealousy and insecurity, no plan for closing the distance, unequal effort from partners, and neglecting your own life while waiting for the relationship. Trust issues that go unaddressed also erode LDRs over time.

How do you keep intimacy alive in a long distance relationship?

Keep intimacy alive through regular video calls, sharing daily moments via photos and voice notes, sending care packages, planning virtual date nights, and being open about your emotional and physical needs. Talking about intimacy keeps it present even when you can't be physically together.

Are long distance relationships worth it?

Long distance relationships can absolutely be worth it if both partners are committed, there's a realistic plan to eventually live in the same place, and you both have strong communication skills. Many couples report that LDRs actually strengthened their communication and appreciation for each other.

What is the hardest part of a long distance relationship?

The hardest parts are typically: missing physical touch and presence, dealing with time zone differences, managing jealousy, not being able to share everyday moments in person, and the uncertainty about when you'll next see each other. Loneliness and the feeling of living parallel lives are common challenges.

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Want tools built for long distance?

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