We hear a lot about red flags. But what about green flags? What does a healthy relationship actually look like day-to-day? This guide helps you recognize the signs that your relationship is thriving, and the signs that something needs attention.
Last updated: January 2026
Adults (18+) only. Based on relationship research and real experience.
Before we get into specific signs, here's what a healthy relationship feels like:
No relationship feels like this 100% of the time. But if this describes your relationship more often than not, you're in a healthy place.
Trust is the foundation. You believe your partner is honest with you, has your best interests at heart, and will follow through on their commitments. You don't feel the need to check their phone or question their whereabouts constantly.
What this looks like: You can leave your phone unlocked around them (and vice versa) without anxiety. You believe what they tell you. You don't assume the worst when plans change.
You can talk about anything, including difficult topics, without fear. You share your feelings, needs, and concerns. Your partner listens, and you listen to them. Communication isn't perfect, but it's ongoing.
What this looks like: You bring up issues instead of letting them fester. You ask for what you need. Hard conversations happen, but they don't destroy you.
Boundaries are honored, not tested. When one of you says "no" or expresses a limit, the other respects it without guilt-tripping, sulking, or pushing back. You both feel comfortable setting boundaries.
What this looks like: "I need some alone time tonight" is met with "Okay, enjoy" not "Why don't you want to be with me?"
You can express vulnerability, fear, sadness, or uncertainty without it being used against you. Your emotions are met with care, not dismissal or mockery. You don't walk on eggshells.
What this looks like: You can cry in front of them. You can admit when you're struggling. They comfort you instead of criticizing you.
Every couple argues. But in healthy relationships, conflict doesn't include name-calling, contempt, threats, or bringing up every past mistake. You fight the problem, not each other.
What this looks like: Arguments end in understanding, not destruction. You can disagree without it turning into a war. Repair happens after fights.
You're a couple, but you're also two separate people. You have your own friends, hobbies, interests, and time apart. Neither of you has disappeared into the relationship.
What this looks like: You spend time with your own friends. You pursue interests your partner doesn't share. You don't need to do everything together.
You cheer each other on. Your partner's success doesn't threaten you; it makes you happy. You make space for each other's dreams, even when it requires sacrifice or adjustment.
What this looks like: They encourage your career goals. You celebrate their wins. Neither of you holds the other back out of insecurity.
Gratitude is expressed regularly, not assumed. You notice what your partner does and acknowledge it. They do the same for you. Neither of you feels taken for granted.
What this looks like: "Thank you" is said often. Small efforts are noticed. You feel seen and valued, not invisible.
Intimacy isn't just sex. It's also emotional closeness, physical affection, and feeling connected. Both types of intimacy are present and mutually satisfying (whatever that means for you both).
What this looks like: You're affectionate outside the bedroom. You share your inner worlds with each other. Physical intimacy is consensual and enjoyable for both.
Power is balanced. Decisions are made together. One person doesn't control the money, the social calendar, or the direction of the relationship. You're partners, not parent and child.
What this looks like: Big decisions are discussed together. Neither person has veto power over everything. You both have a voice.
When you mess up, you own it. You apologize genuinely, without excuses or deflection. Your partner does the same. Neither of you is always the victim or always the villain.
What this looks like: "I'm sorry, I was wrong" is said and meant. Apologies don't come with "but you..." attached. Accountability is mutual.
You don't have to agree on everything, but you're aligned on the things that matter most: family, finances, lifestyle, values, and life direction. You're building toward the same future.
What this looks like: You've discussed what you want in life. Your answers are compatible. You're not hoping they'll change on the big stuff.
You don't have to perform or pretend. Your partner knows the real you, including the messy parts, and loves you anyway. You're not exhausted from keeping up an image.
What this looks like: You're comfortable being goofy, tired, or imperfect around them. You don't hide parts of yourself. They love who you actually are.
Since being together, you've both grown. You're better people: more patient, more confident, more yourself. The relationship adds to your life rather than subtracting from it.
What this looks like: Friends and family have noticed positive changes. You're proud of who you're becoming. Your partner makes you want to be better.
Love isn't just a feeling; it's a choice you make every day. In a healthy relationship, both partners actively choose the relationship through their actions, not just their words.
What this looks like: Effort is ongoing, not just during the honeymoon phase. You prioritize the relationship. You show up even when it's not convenient.
Here's how healthy behaviors compare to warning signs:
Green Flags:
Red Flags:
Important: Everyone has bad days. A single red flag behavior doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy. Look for patterns over time.
Answer honestly. How many of these are true for your relationship?
Scoring:
Sometimes, yes. But it requires:
However: If there's abuse (physical, emotional, financial, sexual), the priority is safety, not saving the relationship. Abuse requires professional help and often separation, not couples therapy.
Couples Flirt includes compatibility tools, check-ins, and conversation prompts to help you build and maintain a healthy connection.
Adults (18+) only. Private by design.
Signs of a healthy relationship include: mutual trust and honesty, open communication, respect for each other's boundaries, emotional support, healthy conflict resolution, maintained individual identities, shared values and goals, physical and emotional intimacy, feeling safe to be vulnerable, appreciation and gratitude, equality in decision-making, and both partners feeling free to grow.
Green flags are positive signs that indicate a healthy relationship: your partner respects your boundaries, communicates openly, takes responsibility for their mistakes, supports your goals and friendships, makes you feel safe to express yourself, handles conflict without cruelty, shows consistent behavior (not just when convenient), and makes effort to understand your perspective.
A healthy relationship is built on: trust (you believe in each other's honesty and reliability), respect (you value each other's feelings, boundaries, and autonomy), communication (you can discuss anything openly), support (you're each other's cheerleaders), equality (decisions are made together), and growth (you help each other become better people while maintaining individual identities).
Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship include: controlling behavior, lack of trust or constant jealousy, poor communication or stonewalling, disrespect or contempt, feeling like you're walking on eggshells, isolation from friends and family, feeling worse about yourself since the relationship started, unresolved recurring conflicts, and any form of abuse (physical, emotional, financial, or verbal).
Yes, if both partners are committed to change. It requires: acknowledging the problems honestly, both people taking responsibility for their part, willingness to learn new skills (communication, conflict resolution), possibly working with a couples therapist, consistent effort over time, and setting and respecting boundaries. However, relationships involving abuse require professional help and safety planning first.
A healthy relationship feels like: safety (you can be yourself without fear), peace (even during disagreements, you feel secure), support (you're not alone in facing life), freedom (to have your own identity, friends, and interests), growth (you're becoming a better person), and joy (more good moments than bad, genuine enjoyment of each other's company).
We're building Couples Flirt to help committed partners stay connected, with compatibility tools, check-ins, and conversation starters built in.
Adults (18+) only. Private by design.