You used to flirt. Somewhere along the way, it stopped. Now it feels weird to start again, like you'd be performing for someone who already knows you. This guide walks you through exactly how to bring it back, one small step at a time.
Last updated: January 2026
Adults (18+) only. No cheesy scripts. Just real ways to feel close again.
When you've been together for years, flirting can feel... unnecessary? Fake? Like putting on a costume for someone who's seen you at your worst.
Here's what's actually happening:
The good news: awkwardness fades fast. Most couples say it takes about two weeks of small daily moments before flirting feels normal again.
Don't try to go from zero to "sexy texts" overnight. This is a gradual rebuild. Follow the steps in order.
Goal: Rebuild the habit of positive attention. No pressure, no heat, just warmth.
Days 1-2: Notice and say it
Days 3-4: Add touch
Days 5-7: Send one non-logistics text
Goal: Add lightness and playfulness. Start taking small risks.
Days 8-9: Tease gently
Days 10-11: Hold eye contact a beat longer
Days 12-14: Say something a little bolder
If you try to flirt and your partner gives you nothing back (a blank look, a "huh?", or just silence), here's what to do:
Most partners take a few days to warm up. If they've been the "receiver" for years, they may not know how to initiate back yet. Give it time.
Some couples do better just starting. Others want to name what's happening. Either works.
If you want to say something:
If you'd rather just start:
Couples Flirt sends you flirty ideas, conversation starters, and small connection moments right to your phone. So you don't have to come up with them yourself.
Adults (18+) only. Private by design.
Because you're out of practice. Flirting is a skill, and skills get rusty. You also know each other so well that it can feel like "performing" for someone who already knows the real you. The fix is to start so small it barely counts.
Start with warmth, not heat. One appreciative comment per day. A lingering look. A text that isn't about logistics. Don't try to be clever or sexy at first; just try to be present and kind. Build from there.
Give it time. If they're not used to it, they might not know how to respond. Keep it low-pressure and don't punish neutral responses. Consistency matters more than immediate reciprocation.
No. As long as you both want to feel closer, you can rebuild. It might feel weird at first, but awkwardness fades fast when there's no pressure. Most couples who try say it takes about two weeks to feel natural again.
Not at first. You can start the shift on your own. Most partners naturally start responding once they feel the warmth is consistent and safe. If they never engage, that's a different conversation, but give it at least two weeks first.
Pick one thing from this guide and try it today. That's it. One small moment. Tomorrow, try another one.
Adults (18+) only. Private by design.