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Guide: reflection and connection

Couples Journal Prompts

100+ questions for deeper connection: gratitude, reflection, goals, check-ins, and fun prompts for couples who want to grow together.

Written by the Couples Flirt team, a real couple building tools for connection.

Last updated: January 2026

Gratitude prompts How to start

For shared or individual journaling. Works with physical notebooks or digital apps.

TL;DR: Couples Journal Prompts

  • Gratitude prompts: What you appreciate about your partner and relationship
  • Reflection prompts: Looking back at your journey and growth together
  • Future prompts: Dreams, goals, and what you're building
  • Check-in prompts: How you're feeling in the relationship right now
  • Challenge prompts: Working through difficulties together
  • Fun prompts: Lighter questions for playful connection

In this guide

How to Start Couples Journaling

Getting started

Before diving into prompts, decide what kind of practice works for you:

Format options:

  • Shared notebook: One journal you both write in, taking turns or responding to each other
  • Parallel journals: Separate notebooks where you answer the same prompts, then share
  • Digital shared doc: A Google Doc or notes app you both have access to
  • App-based: Couples apps designed for shared journaling and prompts
  • Individual + discussion: You each journal privately, then discuss insights together

Getting started tips:

  • Start small: Begin with one prompt per week. You can always add more.
  • Set a regular time: Sunday evening, Saturday morning, whatever works.
  • No pressure on length: Three sentences counts. This isn't a writing assignment.
  • Begin with gratitude: Positive prompts build the habit before diving into deeper topics.
  • Agree on sharing: Decide upfront what you'll share and what stays private.
  • Make it enjoyable: Pair it with coffee, candles, or something that makes it feel like a ritual.

Gratitude Prompts

Appreciation and thanks

Gratitude journaling rewires how you see your relationship. These prompts help you notice and appreciate what's already good.

Daily/Weekly gratitude:

  • What's one thing my partner did this week that made my life easier?
  • What quality in my partner am I most grateful for right now?
  • What's a small moment from this week I want to remember?
  • What made me smile because of my partner recently?
  • What's something my partner does that I often forget to thank them for?

Deeper appreciation:

  • What's something my partner has taught me about myself?
  • How has my partner helped me grow as a person?
  • What challenge have we overcome together that I'm proud of?
  • What's a way my partner shows love that I might not always notice?
  • What would I miss most if my partner weren't in my life?

Relationship gratitude:

  • What's something about our relationship that I don't take for granted?
  • What's a tradition or routine we have that I love?
  • What makes our relationship different from others I've seen?
  • What's a way we handle conflict that I'm grateful for?
  • What's a way we've built a life together that makes me happy?

Reflection Prompts

Looking back and learning

Looking back helps you see how far you've come and learn from your experiences together.

Your story together:

  • What's your favorite memory from when we first started dating?
  • When did you first realize this relationship was different?
  • What's a moment where you felt closest to me?
  • What's a trip or experience we shared that stands out?
  • What's something we used to do that you'd like to bring back?

Growth and learning:

  • What's something difficult we've been through that made us stronger?
  • What have I learned about relationships because of us?
  • How have I changed as a partner since we've been together?
  • What's a mistake I made early on that I've learned from?
  • What's something we handle better now than we used to?

Monthly/yearly reflection:

  • What was the best moment of our relationship this month/year?
  • What was challenging, and how did we handle it?
  • What did we accomplish together?
  • What do I want to do differently next month/year?
  • What's one thing I'm proud of about how we've handled this period?

Future and Goals Prompts

Dreams and plans

Dreaming together keeps you aligned and gives you something to build toward.

Dreams and vision:

  • What does our ideal life look like in 5 years?
  • What's a dream we haven't talked about yet?
  • If we could live anywhere, where would it be?
  • What kind of old couple do we want to be?
  • What's something adventurous we should do together someday?

Practical goals:

  • What's a goal we want to work on together this year?
  • What's something we've been putting off that we should plan?
  • How do we want to grow as a couple?
  • What skill would we like to learn together?
  • What's one thing we can do this month to invest in our future?

Bucket list prompts:

  • What are 3 places we absolutely need to visit together?
  • What's something we want to experience before we're too old?
  • What's a "wild card" goal we'd never admit to anyone else?
  • If money were no object, what would we do first?
  • What experience would make this year memorable?

Relationship Check-In Prompts

How we're doing

Regular check-ins catch small issues before they become big ones and keep you connected.

How we're doing:

  • On a scale of 1-10, how connected do I feel to my partner right now?
  • What's going well in our relationship lately?
  • What feels a bit off or needs attention?
  • Am I getting what I need emotionally? If not, what's missing?
  • What's one thing I could do to be a better partner this week?

Needs and wants:

  • What do I need more of right now? (Time, affection, support, space?)
  • What's something my partner does that I want more of?
  • Is there something I've wanted to ask for but haven't?
  • What would make me feel more loved this week?
  • What's draining my energy in our relationship right now?

Communication check:

  • How are we doing at talking about difficult things?
  • Is there a conversation we've been avoiding?
  • Do I feel heard when I share something important?
  • What could make our conversations better?
  • When did we last have a really good talk, and what made it work?

Working Through Challenges

Growth through difficulty

Writing about difficulties can help process them. These prompts work best when you're calm, not in the middle of conflict.

Understanding conflict:

  • What's a recurring issue, and what's really underneath it?
  • When we argue, what am I actually trying to say?
  • What do I need from my partner during conflict?
  • What's my role in our recent disagreements?
  • What would it take for me to let go of this issue?

Processing hurt:

  • What's something I'm still carrying that I need to work through?
  • What would help me feel more secure or at peace about [issue]?
  • What do I need to forgive, in myself or my partner?
  • Is there resentment building that I haven't addressed?
  • What would my best self do in this situation?

Moving forward:

  • What have we learned from this challenge?
  • How do we want to handle this differently next time?
  • What's one thing we can both commit to changing?
  • What does rebuilding trust look like for us?
  • What positive came out of working through this together?

Fun and Playful Prompts

Lighter connection

Not every journal entry needs to be deep. These lighter prompts keep journaling enjoyable.

Getting to know you (again):

  • What's something about me you're still learning?
  • What's a weird habit of mine that you've come to love (or tolerate)?
  • What would I be surprised to learn about you?
  • What song reminds you of us and why?
  • What's a movie or show that's "ours"?

Hypotheticals and daydreams:

  • If we could relive one day from our relationship, which would it be?
  • If we won the lottery, what's the first thing we'd do together?
  • If we could have any pet, what would it be?
  • If we were a famous couple, what would we be known for?
  • If we could switch lives for a day, what would you want me to experience?

Favorites and firsts:

  • What's your favorite thing we do together?
  • What's your favorite thing about our home?
  • What's the funniest thing that's happened to us?
  • What was your first impression of me, and how has it changed?
  • What's a "first" we still haven't done that you want to?

A Simple Weekly Routine

Building the habit

Here's a structure you can use to build a sustainable weekly journaling habit:

Weekly journal template:

  1. Gratitude (5 min): One thing you appreciate about your partner this week
  2. Highlight (5 min): The best moment of your week together
  3. Check-in (5 min): How you're feeling about the relationship
  4. Looking ahead (5 min): One thing to look forward to next week

Making it stick:

  • Same time each week: Consistency builds habits
  • Pair it with something enjoyable: Coffee, wine, after a nice meal
  • Keep it short: 15-20 minutes is enough
  • Read each other's entries: Or discuss highlights together
  • Skip when needed: Missing a week is better than dreading it

FAQ

What is a couples journal?

A couples journal is a shared or parallel journaling practice where partners write about their relationship, feelings, and experiences. It can be a physical notebook, separate journals, or a digital app.

How do you start journaling as a couple?

Decide on a format, agree on frequency, and pick a few prompts to start with. Begin with low-pressure gratitude prompts before moving to deeper reflection. The key is consistency over perfection.

What should couples write in a journal?

Write about appreciation, relationship highlights, goals, challenges, feelings, gratitude, and reflections on growth. The content depends on what you want to cultivate.

Is couples journaling good for relationships?

Yes, research supports journaling for emotional processing and relationship satisfaction. It provides structured reflection, creates a record of your journey, and opens conversations that might not happen otherwise.

Should we share our journal entries?

It depends on your approach. Some couples share everything, others share highlights, some keep journals private but discuss insights. Choose what feels comfortable and serves your goals.

How often should couples journal together?

Weekly is a good starting point. Daily works for some, monthly for others. The best frequency is one you'll actually maintain.

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